She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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