I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
