He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
