in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The adults are the big ones right?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
