I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
