One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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