I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
