my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
