There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
