I don't usually arrange sex via text message
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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