I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
