Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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