You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
