Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
