Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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