Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
