Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
