well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
