oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
