Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
