I wish I could punch you in the face.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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