I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we're making bets on your personal life
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I love you.
Bad choice
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
