Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
3 2 1 whiskey
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize