but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
