this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
