im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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