the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
