I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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