UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
