Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
