My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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