I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
