The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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