so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
