He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
