McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
