Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
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