I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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