he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
