You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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