no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
