How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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