So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
