you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
