Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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