Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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