you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
