My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
