Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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