you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
